Anger is arguably my greatest weakness. When I say anger I’m not talking about, “oh he’s mad, he’ll get over it,” all nonchalant and such. No sir. My anger progresses quickly to a level that is most likely shortening my lifespan. To make things even worse, I have a short fuse. Ask my wife, she will confirm this without hesitation. I know some of you reading this who know me are probably saying to yourselves, “no way, I don’t believe that.” It’s not something I’m proud of and I’m working on fixing, albeit not well.
I would love to say that I have this anger thing all figured out and how best to control it. I don’t. I apologize in advance if you ended up here looking for the answer. I’m in the middle of the battle and I do not know the resolution yet. What I will offer is where I am and what I’m doing to combat this struggle.
Where I Am
I said earlier that I have a short fuse. That’s not with everyone mind you. For a lot of things that would normally anger anyone, I let roll off my back. However, when it comes to Alyson, my wife, it’s a completely different story. She generally gets the rawest side of my anger. I feel compelled at this juncture to make it known, I have never hit nor attempted to abuse my wife or kids.
There was a time where my anger may grow enough to result in violent outbursts towards inanimate objects, but I have conquered those tendencies. I have since replaced physical outbursts with verbal assaults combined with shutting down delivered as a one-two punch. When I shut down I do not care what you say or do. I’m done listening and speaking. Eventually, I will come back around, but 99.9% of the time it takes an apology from the other person versus an apology from me. After all, it’s their fault I’m angry in the first place. (Pssst … that’s a lie) If you believe it’s “all their fault” you’re in the same boat as I and we are WAY in the wrong. #justsayin
What I Am Doing, 3 Steps
I have made progress in some areas as previously mentioned. I have three steps I’m working to implement on a daily basis:
- My anger does not define me. My identity comes from my heavenly Father.
- Everyday die to myself and practice being a servant, first to Alyson, then my family.
- No matter the situation, when I act in anger I am wrong. I must seek forgiveness.
I am not an expert and I fail quickly and often at one or more of the steps, but I am trying to change and I believe I will as long as I continue to stick to the plan.
Do you struggle?
Do you struggle with anger as well? How do you fight against it? Perhaps you don’t know where to even begin and need some help. Contact me or simply drop a comment below. Let’s connect.
Violence is never the answer. If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship please call The National Domestic Violence hotline – 1.800.799.7233 – it’s 24/7 free and confidential.
Want More of the “My Story” series? Catch up on the rest of the “My Story” series at any time.